Funny Jokes Blog

In the internet age..

2012-01-24T10:34:00.000+05:30

No ways we are tolerating internet censorship!

2012-01-23T10:04:00.000+05:30

After Chrome, Now Firefox hairstyle!

2012-01-20T10:55:00.002+05:30

Oops

2012-01-17T22:51:00.000+05:30

The world as we know it!

2011-12-15T17:19:00.002+05:30

RECESSION UPDATES

2011-11-16T01:25:00.000+05:30

1. Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba and the thirty thieves. Ten were laid off.

2. Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro. Batman fired Robin.... and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at
the same rate

3. Iron man now "air-pooling" with Superman to save fuel costs.

4. Women finally marrying for love, and not money

5. Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way tomake a small fortune?

A: Start off with a large one.

6. The credit crunch is getting bad isn't it? I mean, I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I'm now America's third biggest lender.

7. Q: Why have Dubai real estate agents stopped looking out of the
window in the morning?

A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

8. Q: What's the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean?

A: In a few weeks, nothing.

9. Dow Jones is re-branded as "Down Jones".

EGO, then and now

2011-11-15T03:18:00.000+05:30

Students and career

2011-11-12T16:32:00.000+05:30

What Happens when you tell kids that you ate their Halloween Candy!

2011-11-11T22:28:00.000+05:30

Car Accident

2011-10-20T18:59:00.000+05:30

A man and a woman got into a car accident. Their cars got

totally demolished but luckily both of them were all right.

After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says,"wow!

Look at the cars they're totaled! But luckily we both dint even

get a scratch! This is a sign that we should become friends

and not try to pin the blame on each other.

Man," I totally agree wit u."

The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says," that

bottle survived the crash just like us, I think its a sign from

him. We should open it and celebrate our new found

friendship wit it.."

She then hands the bottle to the man. He nods his head and

because of the nerve-wrecking accident he chugs about a

third of the bottle.. He hands it back to the woman, who

immediately puts the cap back on and hands it back to the

man.

Man,"aren't u having any?"

The woman replies," no I think ill just wait for the police;)

Now that's cool!

2011-10-04T20:17:00.001+05:30

Changing Times

2011-10-04T01:40:00.001+05:30

Then and Now

2011-10-02T21:18:00.000+05:30

What happens in a shower

2011-09-25T22:06:00.000+05:30

Then and Now

2011-09-25T02:17:00.001+05:30

Confusion

2011-09-24T15:33:00.000+05:30

Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"
Father: That's great son. Who is she?
Son: It's Sandra, d neighbour's daughter.
Father: Ohhh I wish u hadn't said that. I have to tell u something son,
but u must promise?not?to tell ur mother. Sandra is actually ur sister.

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later ...

Son: Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!
Father: That's great son. Who is she?
Son: It's Angela, d other neighbour's daughter.
Father: Ohhhh I wish u hadn't said that. Angela is also ur sister.

This went on couple of times n d son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date
any of them because dad is their father!

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, u can date whoever u want. He isn't your father =))

Self Control

2011-09-23T14:05:00.000+05:30

‎People smoke and drink for a few days & get addicted to it. I am studying since childhood but still not addicted to studying....This is called SELF CONTROL..........>=)

The IT Guys

2011-09-21T23:39:00.000+05:30

At the Barber Shop

2011-09-21T01:51:00.001+05:30

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.'The guy left.A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?'The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.'The guy left.A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half .The guy left.The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favor , follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.'A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves?'Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said,'Your house!' =D =))

Meanwhile in India:

2011-09-17T00:38:00.000+05:30

28 Dec 2002: Dhirubhai ambanis dream to make a phone call cheaper than sending a postcard came true
16 Sep 2011: Vijay mallya's dream of making beer cheaper than petrol came true.. =))

Computers in Heaven

2011-09-16T00:06:00.001+05:30

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send a mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed the wrong email address, and without realizing he sent the mail to a widow who has just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading d first message she fainted.The son rushed in to the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:To: My Loving Wife, I know u are surprised to hear from me. They have Computers here, and we are allowed to send mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Expecting u darling. I can't wait to c u!=D =))

Where the hell are you?

2011-09-12T12:34:00.001+05:30

She: Where the hell are you jerk ?
He : Darling you remember that jewellery shop where you saw the necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn't have money that time said "baby it'll be yours one day"
She: yes I remember my love !
He: I am in the pub just next to that shop :P

The top 3 Foursquare users: 1. Social media experts 2. Students 3. Burglars.

2011-09-11T13:30:00.002+05:30

Back to School

2011-09-09T22:06:00.002+05:30

Rock and Rule

2011-09-09T22:05:00.002+05:30

Can of Beer

2011-09-03T15:34:00.001+05:30

THE DOCTOR TOLD ME:
YOU CAN HAVE JUST ONE CAN OF BEER A WEEK!

SO I ORDERED ONE!

Work Done Vs Time before Project Deadline

2011-09-01T22:29:00.000+05:30

Which One Will You Choose ?

2011-09-01T22:22:00.000+05:30

Don't Worry Big Dog The Spider is Gone

2011-09-01T22:19:00.000+05:30

Harry Potter In Real Life

2011-09-01T22:17:00.002+05:30

New Shoes Style

2011-08-29T14:57:00.002+05:30

Angry Anna- Play to support Anna Hazare and help him eliminate Corruption In India

2011-08-26T17:01:00.001+05:30

Common Sense

2011-08-26T00:06:00.000+05:30

A cow was kept for observation.

KG student : Its a cow!!

UG student : Perhaps this is a cow !!

PG : This may be cow or a hypopigmented buffalo!!

PHD : Dis may b a hypertrophied goat or an atrophied elephant with congenital anomalies!!

Moral: The more you study, the more your common sense decreases !! :D :P

Sign in front of a bar!

2011-08-25T23:27:00.000+05:30

Heart touching Story

2011-08-25T22:58:00.000+05:30

A boy Loved a Girl but never Proposed her.
One day he Decided to Tell her
at 1 o'clock at Night.
He typed:
"I Love you"& sent it.

After a few Seconds he got a message.But

He decided to See it the Next day
For Surprise & slept.
Next day,he Read the message & became so Shocked because
it was written:

.

.

.

.
.

.

.

Message sending failed due to insufficient balance! Please recharge your Account.

Change of Address

2011-08-24T21:59:00.002+05:30

Dear Readers,

Jokesblog.net is the new address of the blog. Kindly update your bookmarks. The old address (funnyjokesblog.blogspot.com) will continue to redirect to jokesblog.net for a while.

You can send in your jokes to admin@jokesblog.net from now on.

Cheers,
Chetan

Peanuts

2011-08-24T17:45:00.002+05:30

An old lady offers the bus driver some peanuts...so the driver happily munches them. Every 5 minutes she gives him a handful more peanuts..
Driver: Why don't you eat them yourself?
Old lady: I can't chew. Look, I have no teeth..
Driver: Then why do you buy them?
Old lady: Oh, I just love the chocolates around them!":D=D=))

Height Of Back Answering

2011-08-19T23:30:00.000+05:30

Teacher:Why are you talking during my lesson?
Student:Why are you teaching during my conversation??

Financial Situation

2011-08-19T09:22:00.000+05:30

The financial situation in the near term is expected to be so bad that women will start marrying for love! - Wall Street Journal

Future Husband

2011-08-19T09:20:00.002+05:30

A child said to the sales girl in a shop:
"Miss will you marry me when I
grow up?"
Girl smiled and said "yes"
Child said: "can you give your
future husband a free chocolate?

Beggar

2011-08-11T22:16:00.000+05:30

Wife : I hate that beggar.
Husband : Why?
Wife : Rascal, yesterday I gave him food today he gave me a book
"How to Cook" !!

What do i have Doctor?

2011-08-09T23:18:00.000+05:30

One Boy went to his Doctor: i don't Move my Head, i laugh alone, i don't speak to any Person, i don't notice if someone speaks to me, i Look like stupid. What do i have Doctor?
Doc answered him: U have a BlackBerry =))

Angry Plane

2011-08-09T14:17:00.002+05:30

Celebrating 100th Birthday!!

2011-08-08T20:36:00.000+05:30

Watch out...Google+ is here!

2011-08-08T20:35:00.000+05:30

I would like to be six again

2011-08-03T23:24:00.000+05:30

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.
'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror .
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six again?'
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!'
Moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong =))

Social Networking: Then and Now

2011-08-02T16:11:00.002+05:30

U.S. Debt Crisis

2011-08-02T16:02:00.000+05:30

Angry Google

2011-08-02T16:00:00.000+05:30

Ways To Stay Stressed

2011-08-01T11:52:00.002+05:30

Are you worried now about how to stay stressed? You'll have no trouble if you practice the following clinically proven methods:

NEVER EXERCISE. Exercise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying.

EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT. Hey, if cigarette smoke can't cleanse your system, a balanced diet isn't likely to.

GAIN WEIGHT. Work hard at staying at least 25 pounds over your recommended weight.

TAKE PLENTY OF STIMULANTS. The old standards of caffeine, nicotine, sugar, and cola will continue to do the job just fine.

GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM. Let the few friends who are willing to tolerate you know that concern yourself with friendships only if you have time, and you never have time. If a few people persist in trying to be your friend, avoid them.

PERSONALIZE ALL CRITICISM. Anyone who criticizes any aspect of your work, family, dog, house, or car is mounting a personal attack. Don't take time to listen, be offended, then return the attack!

MALES AND FEMALES ALIKE - BE MACHO. Never ever ask for help, and if you want it done right, do it yourself!

BECOME A WORKAHOLIC. Put work before everything else, and be sure to take work home evenings and weekends. Keep reminding yourself that vacations are for sissies.

DISCARD GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. Schedule in more activities every day than you can possibly get done and then worry about it all whenever you get a chance.

PROCRASTINATE. Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvelous amount of stress.

WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL. Worry about the stock market, earthquakes, the approaching Ice Age, you know, all the big issues.

BECOME NOT ONLY A PERFECTIONIST BUT SET IMPOSSIBLY HIGH STANDARDS......and either beat yourself up, or feel guilty, depressed, discouraged, and/or inadequate when you don't meet them.

THROW OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. Staying stressed is no laughing matter, and it shouldn't be treated as one.

My New Website

2011-07-30T00:27:00.001+05:30

Dear Readers,

I launched my Instant domain search website today

http://www.domainchampion.net/

It helps users to quickly search for available domains on multiple domain extensions.

Domain Champion supports a total of 285 domain extensions! We have an easy to embed widget which you can add to your website or blog. You can see the Domain Champion iGoogle gadget in action at the top of the blog.

Special deal: Using Domain champion, you can register .com domains with Godaddy for $7.49/year, whereas the same domain costs $11.99/year on the Godaddy website!

Your feedback is most welcome, drop me a mail at funnyjokesblog@gmail.com

As always, keep sending in your jokes. I am glad that this blog has already got more than 100,000 visitors this year. Thanks for all your support!

Cheers,
Chetan

Evolution of Mail

2011-07-28T23:17:00.000+05:30

Ever been in this situation?

2011-07-28T23:15:00.003+05:30

Everyone is using a Cell phone these days..

2011-07-28T23:15:00.000+05:30

What is this insect doing on your screen?

2011-07-25T22:59:00.000+05:30

You don't need to be an expert at Farmville

2011-07-24T23:26:00.000+05:30

What's your High score?

2011-07-24T23:24:00.002+05:30

Funny Notice by Hotel Management

2011-07-24T23:23:00.000+05:30

Sony's Playstation

2011-07-24T23:21:00.002+05:30

Honest Judge

2011-07-24T22:37:00.000+05:30

Taking his seat in his chambers, the smart HONEST Judge faced the opposing
lawyers."So, the Judge said, I have been presented, by both of you, with a
bribe."

Both lawyers became uncomfortable.

" You, attorney A, gave me $500,000, and you, attorney B,
gave me $600,000."

The judge now reached into his pocket and pulled out $100,000. He handed
it to attorney B and said...

"Now that I'm returning $100,000, we're going to decide this case solely
on its merits...!!!"

Expert at Cheating

2011-07-22T23:56:00.000+05:30

Facebook Funeral

2011-07-22T23:55:00.000+05:30

Facebook Message

2011-07-22T23:53:00.000+05:30

Thank God It's Friday

2011-07-22T23:52:00.002+05:30

Things Killing your social Life

2011-07-21T22:37:00.002+05:30

Current Google+ Content Distribution

2011-07-21T22:36:00.000+05:30

Facebook Board Meeting

2011-07-21T22:34:00.000+05:30

Google+ vs. Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg's Reaction

2011-07-21T11:48:00.000+05:30

Eyesight Test

2011-07-20T23:02:00.000+05:30

How to Fix an Apple PC

2011-07-20T21:41:00.000+05:30

How to Fix a Windows PC

2011-07-20T21:40:00.000+05:30

Facebook Game Over

2011-07-20T21:39:00.000+05:30

Nice tattoo

2011-07-20T21:37:00.000+05:30

In Soviet Russia

2011-07-19T22:57:00.000+05:30

Facebook Mission Statement

2011-07-19T22:56:00.000+05:30

The Modern Life

2011-07-19T22:55:00.000+05:30

How to recruit the right person for the right job?

2011-07-19T22:52:00.000+05:30

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the
situation.

If they are counting the bricks.

Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them.

Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.

Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.

Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other.

Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping.

Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces.

Put them in information technology.

If they are sitting idle.

Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day.

Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the window.

Put them on strategic planning.

And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.

Congratulate them and put them in top management.

Before They Were Hip....Hop

2011-07-18T22:59:00.000+05:30

Thanks for adding me to your G+ circle, now you have 2 options

2011-07-18T22:57:00.000+05:30

Scumbag Facebook

2011-07-18T22:34:00.000+05:30

Are you addicted to G+?

2011-07-18T22:19:00.000+05:30

Smart Kid

2011-07-18T22:13:00.000+05:30

‎A man sitting next to a kid on an airplane turned to him n said, "Let's talk"
Kid: what do we talk about?
Man (making fun of kid): How about nuclear power ? .
Kid: Interesting topic. But let me ask u a question. Horse, cow, deer all eat grass yet deer excretes pellets, cow Flat dunk n horse Clumps. Why?
Man: I don’t know..

Child: Do u really feel qualified enough to discuss nuclear issues wen u don’t even know shit ? =)).

Nice Helmet

2011-07-17T22:13:00.002+05:30

Boys Vs Girls

2011-07-17T22:12:00.000+05:30

Internet doesn't make you stupid

2011-07-17T22:10:00.000+05:30

3 Reciprocity Tools of G+

2011-07-17T22:08:00.000+05:30

Facebook Login

2011-07-17T22:07:00.000+05:30

How to get Fired

2011-07-17T11:50:00.000+05:30

When was Rome built?

2011-07-17T11:41:00.002+05:30

Marilyn, the teacher, asked her 5th grade history class, "When was Rome built?" and called on Timothy to answer first.

"Rome was built at night." was his answer.

"At night?" asked Mrs. Taylor, holding her ruler firmly in her boney-knuckled hands. "How ever did you get such an idea?"

"Well," gulped the student, hoping his answer would satisfy her, "everyone knows Rome wasn't built in a day."

Google+ vs Others

2011-07-16T09:45:00.000+05:30

Let's not fight

2011-07-16T09:41:00.000+05:30

Don't be sad..just return to the homepage

2011-07-16T09:39:00.001+05:30

Who says girls can't parallel park?

2011-07-15T12:52:00.001+05:30

Google+ vs Facebook cartoon

2011-07-15T12:51:00.000+05:30

Google plus Circles

2011-07-15T12:50:00.000+05:30

A Geek washroom

2011-07-15T12:49:00.000+05:30

Iphone 8 might look like this

2011-07-15T12:44:00.000+05:30

G+ slaps Facebook

2011-07-15T12:42:00.000+05:30

Beautiful Dance Moves

2011-07-15T12:35:00.000+05:30

Google+ vs Facebook, WWE faceoff part 2

2011-07-15T12:29:00.000+05:30