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A Lost bag

A boy found a bag of money n called one FM station: 'hello, I found a lost bag with $100,000, an ID and a master card belonging to one Mr. Afibi.
PRESENTER: U r such an honest boy! So i believe u want to return the bag?
BOY: Nooo! I dey craze? For what? I just want to dedicate a song to him. Play him' Chop my money' by P Square :P

And you thought only humans date?

Here's how a dog introduces her boyfriend to her parents!


The most suitable suitor!

Father in law: young man you are here
to seek my daughter's hand in
marriage and you are chewing gum?
that is lack of respect.
Man: sir i only chew when am drunk or
smoked.
Father in law: you mean you drink and
smoke?
Man: sir,i only drink and smoke when i
go to club.
Father in law: you club too?
Man: i am sorry sir,i started clubbing
when i came out of prison.
Father in law: you have been in a
prison before?oh my God!
Man: i went to jail when i killed
someone.
Father in law: what!!! You are a
murderer?
Man: it happened out of anger.it was a
certain old man who didn't allow me
to marry his daughter,so i killed him.
Father in law: you are highly welcome
my son.you are in the right track for
my daughter.....

Why so late?

Teacher: Why are you late? 
Student: Mom and dad were fighting. 
Teacher: They were fighting, so why are you late? 
Student: One shoe was with dad and the other was with mom :D

Abeiku and Atongo

Abeiku and Atongo were arrested for stealing at the shop...The next day, they were sent to the court..
Judge[looked at Abeiku]:
"what did U steal..?"
Abeiku: "A tin of fish.."
Judge:" How many were in..?
Abeiku:" 6 fishes!!"
Judge:" oh ok..U're sentence
to 6 years in prison!!..
Immediately Abeiku fell
down, and started laughing
his lungs out..
Judge[puzzled]: "why are U
laughing..?"
Abeiku[stilllaughing]:"
haaahaa..My friend, Atongo
stole BAKED BEANS...

At the University

Three University guys dodged an afternoon exam because they weren't prepared for it. They came up with a plan, got themselves dirty using grease then went to see the Dean. ”Sir we are sorry we couldn't make it to the exam. We attended a wedding very early dis morning and on our way back the car broke down thus we became so dirty as you can see. The Dean understood and gave them three days to prepare. After three days they went to the Dean very ready for the exam as they have studied hard. The Dean put them in there separate classes. There were only four questions on the exam paper;
1. Who and who got married? (25 mks)
2. Where was the reception held? (25mks)
3. Where exactly did the car break down? (25mks)
4.What type of a car broke down? (25mks)
Good luck, your answers must be the same.!!!